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Titty Talk: Tips for Dealing With Big Boobs

Titty Talk: Tips for Dealing With Big Boobs

I’m a 34DDD, and let me tell you- it sucks. Society romanticizes the idea of having big boobs, telling us that big tits equals a sexy woman. We see the tanned and tantalizing tits of pop culture icons all over the covers of Rolling Stone (shoutout to Kim K. and Nicki Minaj!), and men have drooled over the Kate Upton-covered pages of Sports Illustrated for years. So, having humungous boobs must be great, right?! WRONG. Any gal who is a DD and up can tell you that massive boobs equals even more massive backaches. Ever tried running with weighty globs of fat bouncing around on your body? It’s not fun. As frustrating as it is to struggle with being busty, I felt it was essential to openly talk about the highs and lows that accompany being a female. Titty Talk is all about raw, unfiltered, honest discussion (the best kind)! Although it’s 2017, open discussion about the female body is still pretty taboo, especially when the discussion comes from an 18 year-old like myself. And thus, I am here to help the world embrace the beauty of titty talk.
These women, although undoubtedly sexy, are causing people to think that big boobs are gifts of sex and glory. Is Kim wearing a child’s sized costume made for those with underdeveloped breasts? Probably. Could Kate actually swim laps in that itty-bitty bikini top? Nope, not a chance. 
 

Tips for Dealing With Big Boobs

Unfortunately, I never had someone to educate me on the discomfort of having large boobs, so I am here to help out any busty gals reading this (think of me as your ta-ta fairy godmother, if you will). More often than not, the tips and tricks told to me weren’t actually that helpful. Over the last year or so, I’ve accumulated some boob-hacks that allow me to get through days and events with a bit more ease.
1. Bras are like friends: they should support you no matter what. 
Let me say first, pretty doesn’t always mean supportive. Some of my favorite bras aren’t necessarily VS Angel-approved, but they’re comfortable and do the job. As much as it kills me to steer clear from the over-embellished wonders of Victoria’s Secret, my comfort definitely comes first. In my experience, Nordstrom Rack has an amazing selection of bras for the busty. I love unlined, mesh ones like this (they provide amazing support and keep everything tucked away and in place), as well as soft and simple bras like this. If it’s a bra that a 45 year-old woman would wear, or a bra your boyfriend would hate, then it’s exactly what you need.
2. Good sports bras are totally worth the splurge.
I miss the un-padded, stretchy sports bras that cost $10 and give you the chest of a 12 year-old, but the days when I could wear those are long gone. When you try squish your boobs into a typical sports bra, it just results in an excessive amount of cleavage, boob-sweat, and an awkward looking uni-boob. It’s painful to spend $50 or more on a sports bra, but it’s even more painful to be bouncing around without decent support. Look for more structured sports bras- those with underwire and thicker, criss-crossed straps (like this).
3. Clothing is a bitch. So are bathing suits.
I honestly have no clue how girls with DD’s and over fit their ta-ta’s into bikini tops. I’ve tried, and continuously failed. One pieces, for me, are the way to go. More fabric means more safety and support, and when it comes to boobs, safety and support are essential. The girls stay put, and your nips are happily tucked away.
Now, for clothes. Ohhhhh man, where do I even begin? For starters, nothing. ever. fits. Cleavage is unavoidable, and the fabric of your shirts always feels as if its trying to suffocate your boobs. So, how do we escape this torment? Firstly, find fabrics that stretch. Your girls need room to breathe, so fabrics with give are going to be your best bet. Avoid button-up shirts, trust me, they will ALWAYS pop open. Secondly, shapes are everything. Shift dresses are a no-go, the lack of shape will make you look like a not-so-hot air balloon, and they typically don’t have much stretch. Slightly more fitted cuts will show off your lady lumps in all their glory, keeping you looking sexy and shapely.
4. Love your body even more than men love boobs. 
 When it comes to having weighty breasts, taking time out to tend to your body is incredibly important. If you have boob-induced back pain like myself, allow yourself to take breaks throughout the day to stretch and relax. Routinely practicing back and shoulder stretches not only helps to strengthen your muscles, but also works out any pain that develops throughout the day. Try to maintain good posture, even though it feels like you have 200 pounds of boob pulling you into a slouch-stance. Heating pads are fantastic, and help with the tension and pain thats bustiness can cause. At the end of the day, caring for your body is the most important thing, even if you despise your boobs, like me. This is so much easier said than done, but ultimately, self-love is vital. Having large boobs may take a major toll on your body, but it’s still important to embrace the body you are given. As a fellow busty gal-pal of mine says, “Big boobs are a pain in the ass and the back.” This may be true, but wether your boobs resemble melons or mosquito bites, you’ve gotta love what you’ve got! 
Embrace Your (Titties &) Misfit Soul,
xoxo Julia B.

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