Within the last month, nearly all of my friends’ relationships have ended, and I can’t help but wonder when my relationship will turn on itself and crumble into a pile of rubble and ash. I’m nearly 10 months in, but am I still in the honeymoon phase? Maybe. Am I in a state of love-driven naivety, blind to the inevitable doom that lay ahead? Probably. Or maybe I’m just being paranoid. Honestly, who knows? But really, who knows anything about love? After witnessing a whole slew of heartbreak, confusion, and absolute cluelessness, I’ve realized that most everyone is pretty much a damn idiot when it comes to love. I feel like love is kind of like God. Some people, you can call them the optimists, are believers. Their bible is The Notebook and their Christ is Nicholas Sparks. They live for the pursuit and belief of something so wonderful, something almost divine. Once we’ve experienced divinity, we feel wiser and happier, like we’ve been touched by an angel, or Meryl Streep. Then there’s the non-believers, some might call them negative, others might call them realists. Most of them were once believers, and converted to realism as a result of a devastating heartbreak. These folks know better than to believe in something that will only leave them disappointed.
Through the midst of this mess, I’ve also come to realize that heartbreak is inevitable. One way or another, we are all prone to getting hurt, that is a fact. It can happen to anyone, anytime, no matter how perfect a relationship or individual seems. Heartbreak is simply unavoidable, and when it happens, it hurts.
Look, I’m not very well-versed when it comes to heartbreak, although there was this one time where I saw this amazing Moschino bag for sale, except it was still $300, which is way beyond my college-kid budget. I was obviously heartbroken, and I left that Neiman Marcus feeling quite defeated. My wallet might have remained full, but my heart was empty. As with most things, life got better, and soon enough that gorgeous Moschino bag was only but a distant, and irrelevant, memory.
Ha, I kid, I kid- But it was a really great bag.
Anyways, with all of this heartbreak happening, it prompted me to wonder, what do people really think about love? Do people really believe in love? What role does sex play in all of this? How do people cope? Was 2012 just a big conspiracy or will the world really end in the near future, and in the meanwhile, what should my next tattoo be? So, I asked my friends, my boss, Twitter, etc. Oh, and trust me, you’ll be able to tell who has experienced heartbreak.
The 18 to 30 Year-Old’s:
“Love made me humble, heartbreak made me give zero fucks anymore.”
“I don’t know man, I hate and love men at the moment.”
“Some days I think love exists and then others I think it probably doesn’t.”
“I feel like people think too hard about trying to find an objective definition, and it really can’t be defined. So maybe that’s wha I think, that love is undefined.”
“I don’t think that there’s one specific “soul mate” for everyone, but there is someone out there that will always challenge you to be your best. You could be married to someone who loves you so much and still meet your soulmate. You just need to recognize that you’e not always destined to end up with your perfect person.”
“I don’t know if love exists, honestly.”
“I think humans just use each other to feel whole, and once they become more comfortable with one another they call it love.”
“I think it’s just a feeling, not something you can fall into.”
“Love sucks. Thank god for dogs.”
“When I was younger, love was definitely sappy for me. As you get older, it’s not really like that anymore, you just become so comfortable with the other person.”
“Love is possible. It exists, and when it does, it’s amazing. Some just take longer than others to find it.”
“Love is really hard work. You have to work at it to keep it going.”
“New love is like butterflies, happiness, smiles, etc. Love is also when you look across a room of people and feel a sense of happiness and comfort when you see the one that you love.”
“I would love if Verizon would fix these problems. That’s love to me right now.”
* * * * * * * *
At the end of the day, it can be agreed that love is a multitude of things: confusing, complex, painful, laborious, beautiful, euphoric, rewarding. It is unbelievably multi-faceted, and no two people experience love the same way. There’s a chance that love is real, and there’s a chance that it’s simply a glorified emotion, a false sense of comfort. There’s also a chance that God is real, and there’s a chance that he is simply a concept and like love, a false sense of comfort. Either way, love and God aren’t that different. We humans just want something that will ultimately give us purpose and make us feel whole. And, in the midst of all that desperate longing and divine soul-searching, we should probably allow ourselves to have some meaningless relationships, and while we’re at it, even get a few tattoos. Oh, and buy that Moschino bag. It really is an amazing bag.
Embrace Your Misfit Soul,
xoxo Julia B.