How to ACTUALLY Survive a Long-Distance Relationship
How to ACTUALLY Survive a Long-Distance Relationship
By Harriett + Alyssa
Speaking from personal experience, being in a long-distance relationship can be incredibly tough. However, for us, it was also one of the most humbling and rewarding experiences. In our case, we happened to meet on Tumblr after finding each other’s blogs through our mutual love of American Horror Story, of all things! When we met, we had no clue who the other was, what their name was, how old they were or where they lived. At the time, neither of us believed in fate, but now we know that fate must have had a hand in bringing us together – once we started messaging, it didn’t take long to realize that we were perfect for one another.
The only catch was the Atlantic Ocean, which separated us.
whilst we had been dating for seven months, we still hadn’t held hands, gone out on a date or shared a first kiss. In the absence of that initial physicality, though, we grew closer emotionally than we ever thought possible
Although there were almost 5000 miles and a six-hour time difference to contend with, we knew we had to make it work. Whilst distance makes it tough to feel close with your significant other, it also (ironically) can make you closer in different ways.
We endured an agonising 281 day wait until we could meet each other for the first time. So, whilst we had been dating for seven months, we still hadn’t held hands, gone out on a date or shared a first kiss. In the absence of that initial physicality, though, we grew closer emotionally than we ever thought possible.
We learned a lot from the almost two years that we spent thousands of miles apart, and so we want to help others going through it too! Without further ado, here are our top tips to help you become long distance relationship couple goals:
Whilst this is imperative for any couple, it is especially crucial when there are so many miles between you two. Over distance, it’s easy to feel disconnected and far away from each other both physically and emotionally, so talking about feelings, concerns or anxieties becomes vitally important! We can’t tell you the number of times one of us just felt far away from the other and, whilst it is a scary feeling, talking about it and working through it together really does help. For us, we would talk about memories we shared, adventures we’ve been on or wanted to go on together, our next time visiting one another and the future. This helped us to feel more connected to the other.
2. BE TRUSTING
Another potential issue with long distance relationships is finding it hard to trust one another, for whatever reason. It could be over something trivial, or it could be over something really serious. For many in these relationships, paranoia and suspicion about the other cheating can crop up and make trusting difficult. Although we didn’t experience trust issues over this specific topic, our main advice would be, once again, to communicate. Talk to your significant other about your fears and worries because much of the time, it is simply your mind playing tricks on you! Don’t bottle these fears and don’t accuse the other of anything if you aren’t 100% sure of.
3. DATE NIGHTS ARE GR8 NIGHTS !
No matter how busy your schedule is, making time for one another is crucial in a long distance relationship. We suggest setting a night each week to settle down and just talk and be with each other, uninterrupted. For example, we set aside Sunday evenings for date night. We would eat dinner together, watch movies on rabb.it, play games online together, draw, read out loud to one another, really anything we could think of! Whilst it is hard, being miles apart doesn’t have to ruin date night!
4. THE TINY THINGS MATTER
We’ve found that when far away, small gestures help more than you’d think! Simple things such as writing cute good mornings texts, sending surprise handwritten letters, writing ‘open when’ notes or even drawing them their favourite animal will make their day brighter and show them that even though
you’re not together, you care and are thinking about them!
I know it is easy to simply put down the phone and ignore the bad feeling but we found that it just makes it worse in the long run.
5. BE PREPARED
The majority of relationships have hard times on the odd occasion. However, distance can make it extra hard to get back on track and just shake those down days. For us, we found that the cliché saying ‘never go to bed angry’ very true! I know it is easy to simply put down the phone and ignore the bad feeling but we found that it just makes it worse in the long run. Whilst it may be tough, it’s better to spend time working out whatever disagreement/worry/problem that has occurred.
6. YOUR FIRST MEETING
If you’re like us and met one another online rather than in the flesh, your first visit is a time full of excitement and nerves! One thing to note is that it is completely okay to feel scared about your first meeting with your partner, even if you’ve been dating for a while – the most important thing is to calmly address those fears together beforehand. For us, we spent a long time discussing what would happen if we didn’t click in person, if one of us got cold feet or if something just didn’t work, which whilst it was a hard conversation, it is very important to be realistic and might even help to put you at ease.
7. PUTTING UP WITH OTHER PPL 🙂
Without meaning to, friends and family can sometimes make your fears about dating somebody you met online, or perhaps even somebody who you simply don’t see too often, worse. Here, the first thing we’re gonna say is to try your best not to let them get you down by thinking about the love that you and your partner share. Personally, we both had to deal with others telling us horror stories about people they knew in long distance relationships, they ask if you’re worried about the other cheating and even asking us if we’re sure the other one is as serious as us. Needless to say, that is super off-putting when you already have to deal with your own worries and fears about never seeing your other half. Whilst it is hard to block out the negativity, just try and remember how much you two love each other and, as ever, talk to your significant other about your feelings so that they can support you!
being apart for so long make us appreciate the small things when we’re together, like being able to make the other a cup of tea, go grocery shopping together and sleep together
Long distance can be a tough test for couples, however, it can also make both parties so much stronger in the long run. In our experience, being apart for so long make us appreciate the small things when we’re together, like being able to make the other a cup of tea, go grocery shopping together and sleep together.
Moreover, we feel like now that we conquered distance, we don’t sweat the small stuff – overcoming distance is the hardest thing we’ve done so, now that we’re together, we’ve found that we don’t want to waste the time or energy on things that a lot of couples our age may get upset about.
Long distance is not a death sentence to a relationship – it can be an extremely rewarding challenge that helps you to learn more about your partner, yourself and both of you as a couple! Be strong, patient and supportive towards yourselves and one another and you’re bound to crush long distance.